I am currently working at my “home” office while I write this blog entry, sitting next to the pool on a gorgeous summer day.

Have I mentioned how much I love my job?

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This is a photo of the scariest thing I have ever seen on the road. What’s scarier is that it’s inside my own minivan! This may look harmless to you, but you are not sitting in the middle of this heart clenching scene where I was when I took the photo and was completely white-knuckled. Don’t see what I’m talking about? Look harder…. It’s….

…… MY TEENAGER behind the WHEEL!

That’s right. His driver permit was obtained today.

Learning to drive is such a huge rite of passage, for the teen and the parent! Is any parent ever ready for this? I swear it was just last week when he was in kindergarten.

Seriously though, I am signing him up for a Driver’s Ed road training class, and he is taking a safety course as well. Not only that, but he told me himself that he plans to be a “good driver”. I guess we all were new drivers at some point, and I’m not going to last very long if I hold my breath every time I hand him the keys now, am I? It’s time to cowboy up and accept the fact that this day has finally arrived.

ATTENTION DRIVERS OF NORTH AMERICA: A new driver has taken the wheel. You have been warned.

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All material copyright ©MomsMinivan.com

Yesterday, right around the corner from where I live, was a rather remarkable roadside oddity. Apparently someone was playing a prank and hacked into the digital construction sign and changed it to read, “ZOMBIES AHEAD”.

The construction company was not amused — but I was. Zombie humor really tickles my funny bone. As a testament to my love for zombies, a month ago I participated in a huge community zombie event for Halloween. (A photo of my zombie persona is posted at my friend Devra’s blog).

After a quick search, I have learned that this road side prank is not unique. Apparently construction sign hackers in cities around the country have been pulling this stunt for a while. For example:

Zombie sign outside Austin, TX
Zombie attack warning Fairfax, VA
Zombie sign Cadillac, MI
Zombies in Lattingtown, NY

The zombie road sign warning made our evening news.

As for me, having recently posted an article about roadside attractions and oddities, I am thrilled to have an “oddity” of zombie humor caliber right in my own backyard. Meanwhile, I will keep careful watch and listen for the cries of the undead in my backyard

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All material copyright ©MomsMinivan.com

Here’s a truckload of turkeys going down the highway in South Carolina, April 2009. I took this picture with my cell phone while on a road trip a few months ago.

Roadside oddities abound, and occasionally they are on the road instead of along side it. Read more about where you can find strange and wonderful roadside attractions to help make your road trip smooth sailing in my new article Roadside Oddities.

Speaking of turkey — Happy Thanksgiving to all of my readers. I am so thankful to have had so many loyal readers over the years who helped not only make my website a huge success, but also a wonderful resource for traveling parents everywhere. I could not have done it without you.

Here’s my dad in 1981 with “Meaty”, our aptly named pet turkey. Meaty was quite the barnyard showpiece. We’d raised him from a chick. And, well, kids do dumb things, and I was no exception. I teased him a lot when his voice began changing from a cheep to a gobble. I gobbled loudly at him constantly to make him gobbly-cheep back. It was hilarious at the time. As a result, he grew to dislike me intensely.

I have no idea what was going on inside his bird brain, but as a fully grown turkey, he would sneak up on me at every opportunity to attack. It was only me that he disliked. Everyone else could pet him on his bumpy red head and play with his weird warm waddle affectionately. Not me. He would pick me out of a crowd of people, flapping his wings like baseball bats against my thigh and driving his 2-inch talons into my calves. One day in my self defense, I waved a horse’s lead rope and halter in his direction to fend him off, and accidentally knocked him on the head with the metal buckle. He flopped to the ground completely unconscious. I thought I’d killed him.

I panicked and tried to think of what I would tell my mother about the beloved family pet. I stroked his knobby head and told him how sorry I was. I said a prayer to please undo this mistake. My prayer was answered. About 60 seconds later he opened his eyes and hopped up, seemingly good as new. What great relief. Meaty and I pretty much avoided each other after that, managing to co-exist somewhat peacefully in the barnyard. … until he met his untimely demise a couple of years later at the jaws of a hungry coyote.

It seems I am not the only one who has ever fought with a turkey. Recently, a friend sent me a hilarious turkey-wrestling video ad for a JennieO Oven Ready Turkey. I could totally relate. The moment the woman in the video sent her unruly turkey soaring out of her kitchen window and into the back of her husband’s head, I knew I needed one of these birds. Given my special affinity for turkey wrestling, I was hooked. So, this past Sunday night I cooked the “Oven Ready Boneless Turkey Breast” from their product line, or as my family called it, “turkey boob in a bag”.

I literally took it out of the freezer and put into my oven already in its cooking bag. No thawing, no seasoning, no preparing, nothing. I didn’t have to do a thing or even touch the raw turkey. It seemed too good to be true. I kept re-reading the instructions for the catch. I even started to dig around in the kitchen drawers looking for my meat thermometer, until I realized it already had one of those nifty pop up things. This was one of the easiest dinners I have ever made.

All three kids gave it a thumbs up, and ditto for the gravy that came with it. Delicious. And no one was hit in the head by a giant flopping bird. …Or stabbed in the leg by a spit-angry flapping one. If only I could have gotten along as well with ol’ Meaty.

There’s an effort to elect an unknown random person as President… and it’s someone we know! Watch this online video about the surprising new nominee.

Ha ha! I kill me!

Seriously, please post my website on your facebook page, myspace, and share with your friends. I need all the help I can get! Thanks readers!

Meanwhile, my favorite time of year is approaching. I really recommend these of mine if you’re starting to look for free Halloween Costume Ideas or even Mardi Gras costumes.

We may have a road trip to Raleigh, NC in our future. It seems that my father is going to compete in the state finals for the North Carolina Senior Games! He’s a tennis player, and he will compete in singles and double.

My dad has been a tennis player most of his life and still plays regularly. The kids are so excited to know that their grandpa is still swinging with the best of them. He’s competing in the 70-74 age category. Go get ‘em, Ace!

My daughter brought home a tiny cabbage seedling from school last year with three little leaves on it. I tend to have a bad effect on plants, especially ones in pots. And due to my natural black-thumb, I never expected it to live, which is why I allowed her to plant it in the front yard. Amazingly it lived and the rabbits didn’t eat it. It grew to 15 pounds. At some point, I think we were supposed to enter it into some kind of 3rd grade contest, but it didn’t start getting really large until just recently, and now summer has gone by and 4th grade has started. So we are eating it instead.

After doing some research, I found that these cabbages can get up to 40 pounds or more. Still, 15 pounds for a cabbage is pretty impressive by ordinary standards.

This giant vegetable reminded me of the titanic pumpkins that grow in Half Moon Bay, CA where they hold a pumpkin festival every year. Those are definitely something special and a really fun event for kids.

Meanwhile, as you contemplate all of these monster vegetables, we’ll be busy eating an extraordinary amount of coleslaw. Cheers!

Some people may have the impression that my road trips are always perfect…. that we go singing down the road in perfect harmony, never fighting, never getting bored, arriving on time and never getting lost. Sorry to burst your bubble, but I’m as normal as the rest of you.

Even my backseat looks like the floor of a teenager’s bedroom at the end of a long trip. Here’s a photo as proof.

I have also posted a few random crazy moments that occured in the back seat of our minivan this summer….

I overheard this conversation between my darling daughters (aka “DD”s) during a game of Battleship on the road:

DD1: Permission to speak freely, Captain?

DD2: Permission granted…

DD1: You are a dork! (laughter galore)

Overheard game of Mad Libs …

body part: Uvula

place: Oscar’s belly button! (Oscar is our dog)

noun: vomit

adjective: vomit-like

adverb: vomitly!

Vomitly? You gotta give ‘em points for creativity anyway. Makes me wonder how they would do at Scrabble.

I don’t sweat any of it though. Payback will come someday when they’ll be driving, and I’ll be in the backseat with THEIR kids, inspired to write all kinds of stories titled, “Traveling with Kids, or Why Grandma Drinks Wild Turkey“.

Full circle.

Are you planning a road trip or vacation during the last week or two in August? A producer from Nickelodeon’s Nick News contacted me because they are looking for families who would be willing to be filmed for a segment about kids taking family vacations going camping, visiting national parks, etc. Kids narrate the piece and would have to be between 11 and 15 years old.

Send me an email if you’re interested and I’ll forward it on.

On a personal note — My kids started back to school yesterday, so our summer road trips are over for now! Bummer!